Sunday, March 15, 2009

CTA Porno Theatre

When a person puts in an eight hour day at the grind the last thing they want is to be annoyed on the train ride home. Throw in a hot day, a Cubs game and lots of people crammed into a Red Line train and you have a truly lovely ride home. NOT.

To make this ride home just that much more entertaining toss in a stoned, ghetto rat slumped in his seat making strange faces at everyone. Along with myself, another grim faced 9 to 5'er managed to find seats next to this guy and little did we know we had just become extras in Ghetto Porn Theatre.

Stoney Stonerson's cell phone rings and he picks it up. "hey baby.....I'm comin over. I wanna do yoo in yo basement." (what? does he mean in her....ass? Does she keep a fuck room in the cellar?)
Yeah, i wanna do you in your basement." "Hell yeah you'll have fun. I gotta big dick" (oh. my. god.) Fuck Yeah i gotta big dick. My daddy has one, my grandaddy had one. we ALL got big dicks." (dear lord, this guys crabby scabby dick is the last thing i want to hear about!)

At this point the woman sitting next to him is looking at me like "is this fool for real??" He was absolutely shameless not to mention so disgusting looking that we started wondering what the person on the other end must look like if she would DO him!
Well, i guess she decided to call him a fool because he next says "why you callin' me stupid? You talkin to me. That makes you stupider." (OH HELL NO! you ain't gettin any booty now, dumbass!)

Evidently she was not bothered by this and he happily got off (no pun) on Wilson, presumably to go dig around in someones basement.