Did i miss an opportunity or dodge a bullet?

when i was 16, just starting my junior year in high school i found out a certan boy liked me.

I went to an all girl Catholic High School and had been over-protected growing up so i really didn't know what to make of this.

I had been sheltered by a nervous grandmother who was going to do everything in her power to see that i got an education, a career, and then a family. The teen pregnancy rate in our family was a little high around that time so she was prepared to chain me to a radiator in the basement if she had to.

This boy and i met through friends. His friend was dating my friend and our crowd occasionally hung out together. I knew he was a nice guy so i felt confident that my honor would be safe with him.

Ultimately he and i started talking and decided to go to a movie. He was my first real "date" - one on one, just me and him. We went to see "Halloween 3 (or was it 4)
The Season of the Witch. I remember it for how awful the movie was. We had a nice time and i was excited to see him again, i was eager to face this new chapter in my life.

Well, my friends after our date decided to tease me. He was very tall, i'm very short. It was all good natured ribbing, nothing mean but i freaked. It was like they saw every vulnerability i had. I couldn't handle it and i just wanted it to go away. I stopped seeing him before we really started. I had already asked him to go with me to my Junior Ring Dance so i made up a feeble story about being grounded and unable to go. Pretty transparent.

We never really talked to each other again after that. Our friends dated for a long time afterwards so on occasion we'd see each other but he was never again cordial to me.

It's been over 25 years and for some reason lately it has been bothering me. I know that he's married, has a family and appears to be a content guy. Why i should let this bother me now, maybe it's just the reflection on all the chances i had in life and let slip away because i was afraid.

It's time to start grabbing the bull by the horns and stop being afraid.

I regret and have always regreted being so immature, and unwilling to stand up for what i wanted. I let someone who may have been a pretty decent first boyfriend get away.