What Not To Wear.

I found myself, late one night attempting to make my coffee for the morning and upon opening the fridge i'm faced with HORROR!!! I am out, OUT i tells ya of my half and half. This. Will. not. DO!!!
It's 9:30 in the evening, i'm lounging in my hand-me-down maternity dress (NO. i"m not and Don't judge me, it's comfortable!!) Now i'm faced with dillemma. do i go to the store or do i drink black coffee when i call my RaczCampari in the morning. (or Sylvia as she is known to everyone else.) i'm pacing and the mind is working feverishly. I am dressed, it's not pajamas and who will be at Jewel at 10.00 on a Wednesday Night??

Well, since i am in the car driving to Jewel, i may as well go to the bank, i mean, i'm already out here.
Now tell me, why o WHY do i always get behind the one person on Earth who has never used an ATM? The one person who keeps pushing the wrong buttons, needs to re-do their transaction and acts like this new-fangled machinery will be the death of us all? WHY???????

Ok, Ms. Born Yesterday in a hovel in a remote uncivilized corner of the world with no access to 19th century technology finally figures out how to punch in a pin and get cash and manages to drive her semi-retarded self out of the lot.

i do my biz, get my cash and off i go. In my oversized maternity dress. To the Grocery store.
(note: this is not a Mama Cass Elliott Muumuu, but a cute little stripey number with a wrap front :)

So i'm at Jewel for my one item and lo and behold my cart is full. Ooh! Ice Cream! Oh, my cereal is on sale...Wow i'm out of seltzer water....Do i need bacon?

I finally shake myself out of my late night shopping jag and make my way up front to the cashier and as i'm paying i see the man bagging my groceries staring at me and that is when i realize....
My boob is practically hanging out of my maternity dress.

And here is Tracys lesson learned: If you don't have MATERNITY TEATS, You don't need a top that opens easily for feeding. Because without said heaving maternity teats, that top is going to open MUCH MORE EASILY!